Raisa hung back near the entrance to main engineering and watched as Ark Royal’s chief engineer, Lora Voss, briefed her staff. The tall, willowy Bolian cut a distinctive figure among the ship’s engineers and her commanding voice rang out across the cavernous engine room.

“No one expects us to condense three weeks’ worth of work into one night,” Voss announced. “But our priorities have changed. Check the work schedules for your updated assignments. Commodore Wyatt expects us to depart at ten hundred hours tomorrow and it’s our job to ensure we’re ready.” The chief engineer looked around at her team, meeting their gaze. “You are the hardest working, most talented group of engineers I’ve had the privilege of working with. I know we won’t let the commodore or our new CO down.” She paused again. “Let’s get to work.” 

Gripping the gift-wrapped box behind her back, Raisa teased, “That was a nice little speech. Very inspirational.”

“I hope you’ve been practising yours, First Officer Shukri,” Voss turned with a stern look on her face. Raisa held her intent gaze until the Bolian’s face split into a wide smile. “Welcome home.” Voss wrapped her long arms around Raisa and hugged her tightly. “What’s that behind your back?” Her grey eyes lit up. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Saltwater taffy, fresh from the Jersey Shore,” Raisa said as she produced the box from behind her back.

“You’re too good to me, Raisa Shukri,” Voss ripped the gift wrapping off as soon as Raisa handed it over and opened the box.

“Y’know, that sweet tooth is gonna be your downfall.”

“Don’t try to ruin this for me,” Voss popped a piece of the candy in her mouth and let out a low moan. “Oh, that’s good. The replicators just don’t do this stuff justice.” She chewed the candy for a few seconds. “I was worried you’d decide to stay on Earth.”

“I almost did,” Raisa announced as she stepped back. “I considered resigning my commission.”

Voss looked surprised by this admission. “What made you decide to stay in Starfleet?”

“Captain Henris,” Raisa told her. “If Starfleet had offered me any other assignment, I probably would’ve turned it down, but Henris reached out to me and asked me to be his first officer.” At Voss’ obvious confusion, Raisa continued, “He wanted the crew to have at least one command officer who’d been through what they’d been through. Someone they knew and trusted.”

“Smart man.”

“I just wish it didn’t mean leaving Ashraf and Aisha again. I’ve missed so much of Aisha’s life already,” Raisa sighed.

The engineer reached out and placed a reassuring hand on Raisa’s arm. “I know it’s difficult. Every time I leave my sons, I feel like my heart is being ripped from my body. But I keep reminding myself that what I’m doing is important. It helps that my husbands are fully supportive and do an incredible job raising our sons.”

Raisa nodded. “Ashraf’s been amazing. I couldn’t spend so much time away from home without his support and love.” She sighed and smiled at Voss, covering Voss’ hand with her own. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all this on you.”

Voss smiled and squeezed Raisa’s arm. “That’s what friends are for.”

A raised voice from someone over Voss’s shoulder caught their attention. “My orders were clear.” Raisa watched as a young human officer wearing the rank of a lieutenant gesticulated wildly in the face of a young Gallamite engineer. “I ordered you not to touch the bio-neural gel packs on deck three, but you ignored my orders and did it anyway!”

“Sir, I was told-”

The lieutenant quickly cut the Gallamite off. “I told you to leave them alone. Did you not understand my order? If it weren’t for the fact that I can see your brain through your skull, I’d have to ask if you even had one.”

Raisa glanced at Voss, whose skin had turned a deeper shade of blue, a sure sign that the engineer was furious. “Lieutenant Shepard!” Her voice rang clearly across the enormous engine room. “A word.” There was no mistaking her tone. That wasn’t a request.

The lieutenant, who Raisa could now identify as the chief operations officer, Charles Shepard, fumed silently at the Gallamite engineer for a few seconds before Shepard began marching towards Voss and Raisa.

“Lieutenant,” Voss spoke quietly, but there was no mistaking the sharp edge in her casual tone. “What did I tell you about speaking to my engineers in such a manner?”

Shepard’s eyes flicked to Raisa before returning to Voss. “I told Ensign Rynor not to touch the bio-neural gel packs on deck three because I was running a series of tests, but he ignored me and started removing them.”

“He removed them on my orders, lieutenant,” Voss told him coolly. “If you have a problem with that, take it up with me. In fact, I recall telling you, if you have a problem with one of my engineers, you come to me.”

Raisa watched Shepard grit his teeth before answering, “I…it must have slipped my mind.”

“Funny how that happens,” Voss replied in a tone that dripped with sarcasm. She looked at Raisa, acting like she’d forgotten the XO was there. “Where are my manners? Raisa, this little ray of sunshine is Lieutenant Aristotle-”

“Charles,” Shepard cut in as his face started to turn an interesting shade of red. “My name is Charles. I don’t use my given name.”

“Of course,” Voss feigned an apologetic look. “How silly of me. It must have slipped my mind.” Shepard’s face was turning an interesting shade of red, but all he could do was glower impotently. “This is Lieutenant Charles Shepard, our Chief Operations Officer.”

Raisa gave his hand a quick shake. “I hope you don’t speak to your own officers the way you spoke to Ensign Rynor. If I find out otherwise, you and I will be having words.”

“No, ma’am,” Shepard replied, looking appropriately chagrined.

It was clear Lieutenant Shepard would be a handful to manage, but Raisa hoped she could sand off some of the younger officer’s rough edges. “I’m glad to hear it,” she told him. “Now, there’s plenty of work to do before we leave tomorrow. I suggest you return to your duties.”

“Aye, ma’am,” Shepard mumbled before he strode off, grumbling to himself under his breath as he went.

Raisa waited until the ops chief was out of earshot. “I can’t believe his parents saddled him with a name like Aristotle.”

“His parents must’ve really hated him,” Voss joked as she bit a piece of candy in half.

“Voss,” Raisa gently chided the engineer.

“What?” Voss asked innocently. “I took one look at him and knew I was going to hate him. Is it so hard to believe his parents were any different?”

Raisa shook her head with a chuckle. She didn’t want to dwell on Shepard. “I’m here to lend a hand. Put me to work”

Voss reached for a PADD sitting on the nearby master systems display table. “I have something that’s right up your alley.”

Raisa’s muscles ached like they hadn’t in a very long time. She’d spent most of her day crawling and climbing through jeffries tubes and her body felt like it was in full revolt over all that exertion. Thanks to the crew’s hard work, Ark Royal was ready for her departure in the morning.

It was almost midnight when Raisa dragged her aching body through the door of her new quarters. She’d spent many hours in the XO’s quarters when they belonged to Eryk Loris, most of them in his bed.

Raisa fell back onto the bed, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. A muttered ‘wow’ to her right brought a smile to her lips. “Damn right ‘wow’,” She smirked.

“Where’d you learn to do that thing with-”

“Something Ashraf taught me.”

“Remind me to thank him the next time I see him.”

A laugh escaped Raisa. “I’ll be sure to let him know you approve.” She sat up and threw her legs over the bed, reaching for her clothes which had been carelessly discarded on the floor.

“Why don’t you spend the night?” Loris asked.

“That’s not part of our deal.” She told him.

“So, let’s change our deal,” Loris suggested. “I’m sure your husband won’t mind.”

He wouldn’t. Ashraf knew she loved him and there was plenty of room in her heart to love more than one person. But she didn’t love Loris. He was a good friend and a generous lover, and Raisa worried that if she spent the night, she would give him the wrong idea.

“I know he wouldn’t,” Raisa told him. “But I’m still not spending the night.” She sat on the edge of the bed and reached out for him, running her fingers through his black hair. “Though maybe I don’t have to go just yet.” Pulling him towards her, she kissed him lazily.

Two hours later, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on her boots. “I still can’t believe they’re pulling the fleet off our assigned duties for a stupid ceremony.”

“I can,” Loris replied. “Given what happened with the Dominion in the Deneb Sector, I think Starfleet Command is eager to show off their new fleet formation mode and they want to make it as impressive as possible.”

Raisa pulled her hair away from her face and into a messy ponytail. “The only good thing about this Frontier Day nonsense is that I’ll get to spend some time with my family. My parents have even come in from Cestus for it. I’ll just have to grit my teeth and endure the ceremonial stuff and having to listen to speech after speech.” She paused. “Maybe I could start my leave a day or two early.”

“I don’t think Captain Antonov is going to allow you to skip the ceremony just because you don’t want to listen to Picard and Riker droning on,” Loris said before ordering a glass of ice water from the replicator.

Pulling her uniform jacket on, Raisa approached Loris and took the glass from him before taking a long sip. “Pity,” she said, handing the glass back. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Raisa leaned in and placed a final kiss on his lips. She didn’t know at the time, but it would be their last.

While someone had stripped the quarters of Loris’ personal effects, the furniture looked unchanged. Memories of him filled these quarters, and she hoped she could take comfort in those memories, rather than being haunted by them. But for now, she just needed to rest.

Raisa pulled her uniform jacket off with much difficulty and tried to throw it over a nearby armchair, but missed and it landed on the ground. Ignoring it, she continued into the bedroom and flopped down on the bed. She wasn’t sure how long she lay there before the sound of the door chime filled the room, causing her to groan. Raisa’s muscles protested as she pushed herself off the bed and slowly hobbled over to the door.

She quickly forgot about her aching muscles when the door opened to reveal Commander Selina Callahan standing in the doorway. Dumbfounded, Raisa stood in shock.

“Aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

Raisa stepped to one side. “Sorry,” she gave herself a mental shake. “Come in. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I thought they’d told you. I’m joining Ark Royal for your patrol as an observer,” Callahan replied as she brushed past, leaving Raisa with the scent of a familiar perfume lingering.

Raisa’s mind took another moment to register what Callahan had said. “I know that,” she told her. “I meant, I thought you’d be joining us at Gateway Station along with the other senior officers transferring over from the Challenger.”

“I was with the Cygnus on their mission to study the Altinak System,” Callahan replied as she stepped inside. “They took a detour to drop me off here before continuing to Starbase Seventy-Two.”

It had been roughly a decade since the two women had been in the same room, and Raisa felt as awkward now as she had back then. “It’s good to see you,” Raisa said.

“I hope you mean that,” Callahan replied softly. “Because it’s good to see you too.”

Raisa smiled warmly. “I do. I mean it.”

“Good,” Callahan visibly relaxed. “I just wanted to stop by and say hi. Make sure you’re okay with me being here.”

“Of course I’m okay with it. I’ve missed you.” Raisa took a step closer, narrowing the physical gap they’d been maintaining. “I should be asking you that. You were pretty angry the last time we spoke.”

“You hurt me,” Callahan folded her arms. “You’d just told me you were choosing Ashraf over me.”

Raisa felt surprised by the intensity of her defensiveness. Feelings from many years ago came flooding back, the pain and anger as fresh now as it had been then. “Only because you made me choose,” she shot back. “I wanted both of you. I loved both of you.”

“And I didn’t want to share you,” Callhan replied, her voice rising. They’d reopened an old wound long since scabbed over and no good was going to come from it. “Call me selfish, call me old fashioned, call me whatever you want, I don’t care. I didn’t want to have to share your heart with anyone.”

“I can love more than one person, Selina,” Raisa shouted. “There’s room in my heart for you both, we could’ve made it work. But you forced me to choose. You have only yourself to blame.”

“This was a mistake,” Callahan started for the door. “I shouldn’t have come.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s better to run away than have an honest discussion about this,” Raisa sniped after Callahan as she strode out of the room.

The door closed with a soft hiss, leaving Raisa standing in the middle of her quarters.

“Dammit.”