Solaris paced back and forth quietly in her ready room. The Yamato was cruising through warp, on her way to rendezvous with the Callisto. The crew was curious why their Captain had suddenly recalled them back to the ship and launched in a hurry. It was only natural, she supposed, given she hadn’t told them why the ship was launching again so soon after their last mission. Perhaps that had been a mistake. Perhaps not. They carried out her orders either way.

That she had left her crew in the dark wasn’t why she was pacing. The box on the small coffee table was why she was pacing. She knew what the contents were. They hadn’t left her side, figuratively speaking, in months. They traveled with her. Buried in the deepest darkest part of her closet. Like a skeleton taunting her. She didn’t want to face its contents, but couldn’t bear to let them go. They had been a final connection when all the rest had seemed to fall away. Now? Now they were a source of hope rather than a constant reminder of her own failure and carelessness.

She took a breath and turned to face the black box, regarding it like a predator. Across the top was a simple label, emblazoned with the Starfleet Intelligence seal and a case number: ‘9347-AT-SFI’. She walked over to the couch and took a seat in front of the box, gently popping the latches open. The seal released and she lifted the top, observing the contents for the first time in months.

When the retrieval team had arrived at the station where Arys had been working and realized she was nowhere to be found, they had gone right into cleanup mode. They had carefully gathered anything that could be linked back to Arys or the operation and put it into the crate for storage. When Sol had first seen it, she had removed most of the sensitive intelligence material and filed it away elsewhere, and left the rest in the box.

She reached in and pulled forth a series of drawings, clearly made by a young child. She leafed through them gently, careful not to damage the paper or smudge them. Drawings of family, animals, flowers. All good in a way only a child’s drawings could be. She smiled, remembering having seen some of them when they had been new and freshly drawn.

She set them aside and pulled out a plushy toy. The same child had had this toy and it was well worn, but still intact. Maybe Arys had used it for comfort when she had been undercover. Memories of a better time.

She set the toy down, leaning it against the box so it could stare at her and pulled out a small thin case. The kind one might present a necklace in. She flipped the top open and observed the simple engagement necklace. It was pretty and she had seen Arys wearing it with pride. Until that had come crashing down around her. Now the necklace was just a reminder of a different path not taken.

Items from her past life. A life she could never have again. Had Sol known about them, she might have told Arys to be rid of them. Not because they were identifying… but because clinging onto that sort of past never lead anywhere good. Then again maybe they had kept her sane when she was alone. She never had the chance to really find out.

She peered into the box again, where more items still awaited her. A leather bound journal, aged with time and a Bajoran earring. Family heirlooms. A brother’s earring and a grandfather’s journal. She held the earring up for a moment watching it dangle between her fingers. She let it rest on the cover of the journal, not daring to open it for fear she might damage it. Still more items awaited her in the box, but she had found the one item she wanted. Another plushy toy, a mugato to be specific.

She pulled it out and held it up to the light. Arys had told her that a friend of theirs had made it for her when they had served as roommates on one of her first assignments. Like the other it was well worn, but had also been well cared for and repaired a few times. She gave it a little squeeze, causing it to roar. She smiled. This was what she had been looking for. The rest of the items were special, but only this one was hers and hers alone. Not mementos of family, or reminders of paths not traveled, but something that had been given to her.

She set the little mugato on the couch next to her where it flopped over and lay eyes staring across the room at nothing in particular and carefully repacked the rest of the items back into the box. She would transfer it to the Callisto and into the care of Doctor Trova when they arrived and she had sorted things out. But for now, she had the item she wanted. She looked up as she gently closed the box’s lid, hearing the shift in the Yamato’s warp engines. She stood, and grabbed the little mugato, cradling it in her arms and strode out on to the bridge before anyone called. She was almost sure there had been a few confused looks when the bridge crew saw the little plushy in her arms, but she did not care one bit.

The view screen showed the Luna-class ship she had been expecting, hanging in space. Months ago she never would have expected she would be going to see Arys. Not alive anyway. She looked down at the little plushy and smiled again. It wouldn’t make up for her failure, but she hoped it would bring comfort to Arys.

“Message from the Callisto, Captain. Captain Ceix is expecting you.” an officer reported. Sol nodded her thanks, and headed for the turbolift. She would meet with the Callisto’s captain first, as was polite, as much as she wanted to rush to her friend’s side.

She would gather the files she needed to present to Captain Ceix then beam over to the Callisto before making her way to their sick bay. She gave the little plushy a squeeze again, causing it to roar once more as the turbolift doors closed.