Ensign Drevan Zoral sat alone on his bunk, the hum of the USS San Clemente’s systems the only thing filling the silence. On the bed next to him his PADD scree lit up, a symbol blinking to indicate a waiting message.
He tapped it, bring the screen to life.
The Starfleet emblem dissolving to show an image of his mother, she was stood on the home world, the stormy skies of Bolarus being unmistakeable to Zoral.
“Drevan”, she began “Your brother’s bond ceremony was beautiful. I wish you could have been here. He asked about you, I told him you were serving the Federations proudly. We’ll send holos when we can.”
She paused for a second, “I know you’re here in spirit…. But it’s not the same.”
The message ended, freezing on the image of his smiling mother.
Zoral didn’t move, he should have been there. Standing beside his brother in the family circle. Instead, he was lightyears away, listening to the distant stormy seas of his home over a recording. He didn’t reply.
Later that day Counsellor Sora Venn was sat in her office, shoes off as usual with her feet tucked to the side of her. She listened patiently as Zoral paced the small office. His words fell over over one another.
“I told command I was willing to serve anywhere. I meant that and I still do. But…. Stars, Sora, I didn’t want to miss everything back home. Births, events, funerals. The last time I saw my grandfather I thought…. Well… I thought I’d at least be able to say goodbye.”
Sora tilted her head, “and you didn’t.” she replied, compassion evident in her tone.
Zoral stopped, watching the stars pass by for a moment. “No” he replied, voice cracking as he did so.
“Do you blame the fleet?” Sora asked.
Zoral shook his head in response, “No, I blame myself, I knew that service meant sacrifice, I just didn’t realise that it meant sacrificing them,”
Sora leaned forward, toward him. “homesickness isn’t failing. It’s proof of why we do this, why we go off into the galaxy.”
Drevan laughed at that and shook his head, “shall I just hug my memories then?”
“Or share them with people,” Sora said, “our connections don’t disappear because of how far we are away. Have you spoken to anyone, how about Brunak?”
Zoral shot her a look, “Brunak? Hed laugh me out of the room.”
“Try him,” Sora replied, “we all miss home and he’s no different, he may say it’s an acceptable inconvenience but he’s also your friend.”
Later, Zoral walked into engineering, looking for Brunak. He was about to ask one of the engineering crew when he saw the Tellarite hunched over a consol. Growling as though that would scare the equipment into working.
He glanced up as Zoral headed toward him, “what?”
“I…. erm,” Zoral couldn’t find the words as Brunak straightened in front of him. “I just wanted to talk.”
Brunak snorted in response, “is this something to do with that latest transmission you received?”
Zoral looked surprised, “what? How do you know, did Sora speak to you?”
“No one had to tell me,” Brunak replied “you’ve had the face of a lost Sehlat all day.”
He tossed his spanner to one side and gestured Zoral to sit. “Listen, in the last message I had from home my cousin told me his daughter is staring at the Academy. I’ll never see her first flight test. I miss the smell of the dust on Tellar. The sound of the forges. You don’t think I understand?”
Zoral blinked. “you? you miss home too?”
“Of course,” Brunak continued, “we all do, you just don’t hear everyone moaning about it every five minutes.”
Zoral started to stand, a little offended by Brunak’s comment. He put a hand on his shoulder, steadying the Bolian.
“My point is, you keep moving forward. You serve Starfleet, you build, fix, help. When you finally see your home and family, you’ve got stories to tell them.”
For the first time all day, Zoral smiled.
That evening, Soral walked into the mess hall, he glanced around at the tables. A few of the crew had already started their meals. Some having conversations, others lost in their PADDs.
In the centre of the room PO Rebecca Thorne was hunched over a steaming mug, across from her Lt Arven Kree lounged with his feet on a chair with some sort of instrument that he was strumming.
Rebecca waved him over, “Ensign, come join us. Kree was just murdering some old Earth Folk songs.”
Kree grinned while he fiddled with the instrument, “not murdering, innovating and upgrading with a Trill flare.”
Kree plucked one of the strings, “I was just saying that I miss the street food in Paris, the replicators try but they never quiet get the taste right.”
Rebecca laughed, “I’m happy with the food but what I miss is the forests, animals”
She looked at Zoral, he swallowed, “I missed my brothers bond ceremony, it was yesterday.”
The table went quiet, Rebecca reached her hand across and squeezed the Bolians hand. “I’m sorry.”
Kree set the instrument down next to him. “You know what I missed, my sisters wedding. I sent her a holo of me dancing so she could play it at the reception. Apparently it made everyone laugh.”
Zoral’s eyes widened, “you send a holo?”
“yea, a real embarrassing one too, but it made her smile.”
Rebecca nodded, “we can’t always be there in person, but we can send pieces of ourselves, pictures, messages.”
Zoral felt the knot in his chest ease a little.
That night, back in his bunk, Zoral recorded a reply to his mother’s message.
“I saw the holo of the ceremony, my brother has grown so much, he looked great. I’m sorry I wasn’t there but please, tell him how proud I am. Tell him I’ll be home as soon as I can with stories that he’ll never believe. Until then, keep a place for me in the family circle.”
He ended the recording. For the first time in days he felt a little more at peace. The distance was still vast, but he didn’t feel quite so lonely.